A LIFE WELL LIVED

A very dear friend of mine passed away this past week of pancreatic cancer. I want to tell you about her life because if you get to know her even through just this blog post, your life will be better for it. I did not get permission from her family, so I am not going to reveal her name. I will just call her My Dear Friend.

Anyone who reads this post and knew My Dear Friend will be able to guess who it is. But for those of you who don’t know her, I will allow her the anonymity.

I met My Dear Friend 21 years ago when I took a job at a place where she already worked. She was curious and made no bones about asking a lot of prying questions trying to get to know me. She tried to delve into every facet of my life. I’ll admit I was a little put off at first because I am a private person, and I didn’t know her from Adam’s house cat. After a while, though, we became good friends.

The more I worked with her, and the more I got to know her, I realized that was just her way. She was outgoing, funny as all get out, and didn’t meet a stranger. I, however, am an introvert who shies away from strangers. She befriended me anyway.

She included everyone, including me, in her wide circle of friends. Everyone became a part of her family of friends. And she cared about every single one of us. Her love and loyalty to all of us was astonishing.

Knowing her made me a better person. She was happy, optimistic, fun loving, energetic, persistent, loyal, and all the other good character adjectives you can think of. She was the epitome of the phrase “when life gives you lemons make lemonade.” It’s not that she didn’t have any difficult times. It was that she just laughed them off and went on with life. She was by far the most optimistic person I have ever known.

As I worked with her, I realized that I wanted what she had – the happiness and the laughter. That was just not me back then. I was one of those people who was pessimistic and somewhat unhappy. “Woe is me” was my daily mantra, I swear.

As I continued to watch how she lived life and listened to her philosophies of life, I paid close attention to what she was doing. It is simply this – she was putting good out into the world, and good was coming back to her 10 fold. It was through her that I learned to start putting good out into the world.

She uplifted everybody, so I began to uplift everybody. She helped everyone. I started helping people if they needed it. I will never be a talkative outgoing extrovert like she was but in my own quiet way I was kind. I learned that from her.

My Dear Friend was someone who always loved to have people around her. She didn’t want to be at home alone when she could be out to dinner with a group or have a dinner party at her house. She absolutely loved being around friends.

She never ran out of energy. I can’t even count the number of times over the years that she stayed up all night long doing for others. She would stay up all night long the night before Thanksgiving to cook for an army. She would stay up all night long to bake the most amazing red velvet cakes to give out to people at Christmas. If you got one of her red velvet cakes, you were truly blessed.

She would go on a weekend trip, and stay out of town until the middle of the night, and drive home just in time to get to work on Monday morning. She would work all day with no sleep. I was amazed that her well of energy never seemed to run dry.

She made it a point in her life to attend funerals all over the place just so she could bring a moment of comfort to the family. I’ll be honest I never really understood that, but it was part of the fabric of who she was.

She was persistent. The word “no” was not in her vocabulary. She worked relentlessly to correct something that she thought was unfair or unjust. She used her persistence in helping others as well. Failure was not an option.

There was not one person who came across her path that she would not go out of her way to help. She believed in helping anybody anytime, and there was nothing she would not do for you. She readily jumped in to help without needing to be asked.

She was a hero. She saved some friends of her from being burned to death when their town burned, and they got trapped on a burning road. My Dear Friend did not stop calling everyone in the area including the Police Chief and the Fire Chief to see if she could get someone to save them. She stayed up all night working the phones to save her friends.

She finally got through to someone who could help. She had been friends with a Deputy Sheriff of a neighboring town, and she reached out to him and told him about her friends. Because he was also in law enforcement, he got in touch with the right people to go and save her friends. It was because of her selfless act of heroism that they survived.

That’s true friendship. She had the heart of a lion. She did it without regard to gratitude. She did it because she felt it was the right thing to do.

She taught me how to have fun in life. She was all about fun. She had an old family friend that was very frugal and would complain about My Dear Friend spending money on fun. My Dear Friend’s response was always “I may not have any money left, but we sure had a good ride.” She taught me how to have a good ride in life.

She was a master storyteller. Now mind you, she never met a stranger, so she would regale us with stories about her adventures and the people she met. She always began with, “It was the funniest thing ever.” Then she would spin a tale about a person I had never met that would have me laughing until I cried.

She was forgiving. She forgave even the most egregious behavior. She set an example of unconditional forgiveness for all of us.

Every day that I was in her orbit was a great day. She was one of the best people I have ever known. She exuded joy and happiness, and her light shined brightly every day.

I have never known anyone else with such passion, joy, love, happiness and energy, and probably never will again. She lived life at full tilt. Hers was a life well lived.

God bless you, I miss you, and may you rest in peace, My Dear Friend.