DISCOVERING THE FUN OF AT-HOME DATE NIGHTS WITH MY HUSBAND

For many years, I had a full-time day job many miles from my home.  I would work all day, drive 2 hours home, and get home late in the evening and then deal with dinner and children.  Most of you probably know the routine.  I would be exhausted and fall into bed for maybe 5 or 6 hours and get up and do it all over again.

Where was my sweet husband in this equation?  He was there, but time alone with him was a rare commodity.  Even on the weekends, there were kids’ practices and games and grocery shopping and housework.  No time for couple time.

Even once my children were old enough to take care of themselves, my working and commuting didn’t stop.  I live in a metro area where traffic is so bad, my commute was 1 and a half to 2 hours each way every day.

COVID-19 Is Making Us Stay Home More

Then came the COVID-19 pandemic, and we were all forced to stay at home.  During this time of COVID-19, I have found myself working from home every day, and not commuting 2 hours each way to work and back.  This means I am home every evening for the first time in years.  This has been a silver lining in this trying time.

When I was commuting, I got home around 8 or 8:30 pm every night.  Once I started working from home, my commute was reduced to 10 steps down the hallway of my house, so I am home from work by 5 every day.  My husband has also been out of work due to COVID-19, so he has been at home all day as well. This extra time has allowed my husband and me to spend more time in the evenings together for the first time in many years.

We started watching movies in our bedroom while we sit up in the bed.  We have one of those adjustable beds that allows the head of the bed to raise up.  It is like having our own home theater in a way.  Sometimes we pay the money to rent a movie through our cable provider, but most often we just watch movies that we’ve never seen before that are free.

Date Night Brings You Closer

These movie nights that my husband and I enjoy are wonderful.  They harken back to the days when we dated many, many years ago.  We were both movie buffs, and our dates were most often dinner and a movie.  We saw almost every movie that was out during the time we dated.  (I say almost every movie because I don’t like horror movies, so we didn’t see any of those.)

For many years, experts have touted the importance of date night for a marriage.  I heard what the experts were saying, but never felt like we had the time to implement a date night. In more than 2 decades of marriage, I can count on one hand the number of times my husband and I went out without our children.  I had no idea just how much closer date night would bring us.

I’m telling you, learn from my experience.  Don’t discount a date night with your spouse like I did.  I’m just glad we discovered them when we did.  They have really added to our relationship.  Our friendship has grown.  Now I wonder just how much better our marriage would be if we had date nights every week for the last 2 decades.

Watching a movie together is a very simple and fun way to spend quality time with your spouse.  Spending fun time together is important to any good marriage.  It really helps reinforce the friendship between you.  If movies aren’t your thing, I would suggest that you find an activity that you can do together and try to do it at least once a week.  No kids, no grandkids, no furbabies; just you and your spouse.

When 2 people are dating, they intentionally commit time to doing fun things together a few times a week.  After marriage, though, responsibilities like jobs and kids take away the feeling of prioritizing time with your spouse.  It is fun to do things with your entire family but try to remember that spouses still need to connect to one another alone.  I wish I had paid attention to this when I was younger.  It is never too late, though.  Just start now like we did.

Don’t Let Guilt Stop You

One of the reasons we didn’t go on date nights before was parent guilt.  I worked all the time and didn’t see my children until late in the evening, so I felt guilty if I took time away from them to go to dinner or a movie without them.

The funny thing is, is that they probably wouldn’t have even cared.  They would have been happy to have fun with a babysitter, or stay at home by themselves when they were old enough, but that guilt about needing to spend all my extra time with them to make up for working all the time intervened. 

Lucky for me I have a very understanding husband.  He was okay with my work schedule.  He was okay with always doing things as a family.  But now, he tells me regularly just how much he enjoys our evening movie time together.  We both look forward to our movie nights now.

Don’t feel guilty.  A happy marriage is good for the kids.  COVID-19 has probably allowed many of you to have more time with your spouse and children.  Don’t feel bad, though, about making some time for just you and your spouse to be alone.

If you have young children, put them to bed before you have your time, and there will be nothing to feel guilty about.  If you are not really movie buffs, then start a new joint hobby together that you can do alone as a couple.

Once the COVID-19 restrictions are lifted, and you can go back to your normal activities, try to make sure that you keep the closeness with your spouse.  Keep those date nights going! Don’t let the day to day drudge of work and responsibilities make you forget why you fell in love and got married in the first place.

Date night will bring you closer and make each of you feel that you are important to the other.  It’s fun.  Try it.  You might like it!

*********************************

Like what you’ve read? Subscribe to my blog or leave me a message on my contact page.